


One Missed Moment

by letsgotocomiccon



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Sad, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:53:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1950612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsgotocomiccon/pseuds/letsgotocomiccon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagisa has something he needs to say but it's way too late</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Missed Moment

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at nine past midnight on Sunday morning and I made my lovely beta Emily cry so I hope you all enjoy this

Rei thought Nagisa looked better these days. Normally it was the small boy who did the following and the watching but now it was him. Rei sat in the back of the class and spotted Nagisa who sat down near the front,with his head down on the desk, his face showing the lack of sleep.

Makoto had convinced Nagisa recently to start joining them on the roof for lunch again, but Nagisa rarely talked or his answers were short and it pained Rei to see him like this. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around the blonde and kiss him senseless but he couldn't do that.

He would never be able to do that.

\---------------------

Nagisa liked this spot on the cliff. It was a long drop down but he could see the sea and feel the salt in his lungs. He even stayed here so long some nights to watch to sunset, which was utter breathtaking.

He turned to the stone slab in front of him, silently tracing the inscription.

Make what is beautiful fly

How fitting, he thought silently to himself. He would have laughed if not for the tears in his eyes and lump in his throat that mad him feel like he couldn't breathe.

Rei sat off , closer to the cliff ledge, watching the private display. He watched every time, the smaller boy never knowing that he was seeing this, and Rei sat far off because he did not trust himself to be any closer.

"Hey Rei," Nagisa said out loud, "Things have changed. We don't have a swim club anymore but Miss still let's us use the pool , I think it's out o sympathy really, but Haru doesn't care, just as long as he can still swim." Rei would have laughed if he could have. Nagisa tried to keep telling the updates but his breathe caught in his throat and the tears leaked from his eyes. He just couldn't crying and an doubled over in front of the stone, one hand clutching his shirt, the other holding onto the stone.

His words came out between sobs in a blubbering mess "Why couldn't I save you, Rei? Why can I never do right by anyone?" 

Nagisa slammed his first into the name written on the stone and Rei doubled over as he remembered his last night. Swimming in the sea and then the storm hitting, he was never scared the whole time and welcomed his undoing swiftly. Only now did he regret trying not to live.

"Rei-chan, you alway asked you why I picked you for the team but I never told the real reason," Nagisa's words trickled out between his sobs an his tears. "It wasn't your name you know, it was because you were the most person I have ever seen. I was being selfish by wanting to have you and I know that now but I still......."

The sniffling stopped and the was once again quiet as Nagisa collected his thoughts an finally spoke the truth, each word a blow to Rei's heart.

"I love you, Rei-chan. I love how articulate you were about things and hove touchy your were about people taking your glasses. I loved how you thought everything had a perfect theory and I .......I....."

The tears were back and turned the boys face into a waterfall, the words becoming lodged in his throat before he spoke them. " I loved how embarrassed I used to make you feel."

His next words were so quiet Rei almost didn't hear them.

" I wish it didn't have to be like this."

Even after that night, even after Nagisa had swam out into the storm searching for the boy he loved and even after they had the bespeckled boy's boy, Nagisa had never broken down, he had never cry once. Now all the pent up grief overflowed in him and threaten to consume him.

He words broke through his wails " I wish I could have told you how I felt sooner. I wish I could have stolen one kiss bef......befor......before....."

The boy let his grief take hold. He let out all his pain.

He screamed.

He screamed at how cruel the world was. At himself ,for being unable to save the only person he had ever ha the courtesy to fall in love with. The scream filled the air around him, the trees felt it in their leaves, the birds in their feet and the ground in its roots. The shriek was full of pain an hurt and love and missed moments and of a future robbed and it shook Rei to his core to hear it.

He rushed over to the kneeling boy, wrapping his translucent arms around the figure. Even though h could feel wetness of his cheeks as well he repeated his words over and over again, like a forgotten song unsung.

He whispered the words and the trees felt it in their roots. He spoke the words and the birds felt it soar under their wings. He bellowed the words into the sky and it bounced back in response.

He lent close to Nagisa's ear and spoke his heart's truth.

"I love you, Nagisa-kun."

 

Nagisa head shot up. The screech halting. He could have sworn..... No it couldn't be.

Cautiously ,he called out, "Rei-chan?"

And Nagisa's final shard of happiness died with those words.

There was no reply.

 

There never will be.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want me to write something or have a prompt, my tumblr is flyingonmydragon
> 
>  
> 
> Please leave a comment or/and kudos if you enjoyed this
> 
> Thanks!!!! :)


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